WELCOME TO STOP #4 ON THE HAPPY-ANNIVERSARY 1ROMANCEEBOOKS.COM BLOG TOUR

If you haven't begun this tour by first checking in at 1RomanceEbooks.com to get your registration number that allows you to be eligible to win all of the fabulous prizes involved, you should head off there, right now, and do just that at:

http://1romanceebooks.com/index.php?_a=viewDoc&docId=107

If you've registered already, though, thank you for your participation and for visiting the #4 stop-off on the 1RomanceEbooks.com one-year anniversary tour itinerary! Your stop just previous to this one should have been Teresa D'Amario #3 at--

http://teresadamario.com/blog

--where you made the acquaintance of the author who adores books with Native American characters, legends, epic themes, rugged settings, and, of course, a love story; those the books she loves to write.

Is it a coincidence, do you think, that Native Americans, legends, epic themes, rugged settings, and, of course, a love story (actually several), play an important role in my teen-angst candle-reader, vampire, werewolf, witch, warlock, demon, dragon, chimera, shape-shifter, tree-spirit, metal-bender, shadow people series FLICKER -- #1 BOOK OF ANSWERS soon to hit the book stands?

Well, as luck would have it, it IS just coincidence, but it's a fortuitous one which I'm delighted to advantage, not only by way of providing pre-promotion for my upcoming series of FLICKER books, BUT by way of promoting the series' signature candles, including "the" purple/blue FUSION candle I've given book-cover prominence--

http://www.myspace.com/flickerwarriors

--AND the upcoming series' signature-scent perfume, SPICE/BERRY FUSION--

--all conjured by wax-artisan and perfumer-extraordinaire Jfay--

http://www.studio3bonline.com

Speaking of signature scents, don't forget to check out the absolutely sensational Nosferatu Illume (The Vampire Walks the Light of Day)--

http://www.wickdreads.com/wickdpotions.htm

--that's done exclusively for my Vlad Draqual vampire series of books (SUCKS: FIRST OF THE DRAQUAL VAMPYRE CHRONICLES)--

http://www.myspace.com/draqual

If I'd thought this out more carefully, I might have given away a copy of my Vlad Draqual vampyre book. As it is, though, I AM giving away an:

eBook BOND-SHATTERING, my m/m sci-fi
eBook circuSex: A ONE-HAND READ, my m/m circus-sex erotica
eBook I, DEBAUCHEE, my m/m erotica, first of my "I" series
eBook SS MANN HUNT, my m/m South American adventure
eBook THAI DIED, my bi Thailand adventure (2nd of my STUD DRAQUAL mystery series)

So, please leave your comment and registration number in order to enter the drawings and win ... win ... win.

And if you can tell me in what m/m short story of mine, in which m/m anthology of short stories from MLR Press, I mentioned Xocai healthy chocolate being eaten by one of my characters, it'll give you even more chance of winning.

The next stop on the anniversary blog tour is #5 Bryl Tyne. Is it any coincidence that Byrl, good-looking as hell, is an old buddy and chum of mine?

Well, as luck would have it, it IS a coincidence, but one I'm absolutely delighted in having occur, because I can think of no greater privilege and pleasure for me than to send you along to visit Bryl and acquaint yourself, if not already acquainted, with this author's genuinely marvelous persona AND selection of mighty fine books available for your reading enjoyment.

So, thanks for your visit here, #4, and, now, GET THEE OFF TO Bryl Tyne's place (#5) at --

http://bryltyne.com/blog

TODAY'S THE DAY! LIGHT A CANDLE?

The Anniversary Blog Tour, being sponsored by 1RomanceEBooks.com, begins today; headed through here tomorrow. You'd better head on over there, if you haven't already, and officially register, so you can participate to win some nice prizes while visiting some fun sites --

http://1romanceebooks.com/index.php?_a=viewDoc&docId=107

Meanwhile, today, I'll just make a few comments on this "thing" I seem to have for candles (as well as for waterfalls and custom-made daggers; these latter commented upon, maybe, in some later blog). Lately, I confess that my candle "thing" has been less for candles, in general, than for Jfay candles, in particular.

For those of you unfamiliar with Jfay, she's a candle-artisan extraordinaire who can whip up (literally, sometimes), a candle to your specifications in no time. She has this talent for teaming up with authors, like moi, and providing just the right kind of candle to go with their just-released books...

http://wickdreads.com/

...and, then, heads on out, like a house on fire, to help promote book and candle (I keep telling her, she needs to include a "bell" in there, somewhere). After she did "the" definitive candle, all riddled with bloody bullet holes, as representative of my book A SLIP TO DIE FOR (first of my STUD DRAQUAL mystery series), I was hooked as surely as any marlin on a baited hook in the Gulf of Mexico (before the Gulf became too oil-filled to support marine life, that is).

I've since teamed with Jfay to do so many stellar candles, for so many of my stellar books, even my cousin and my help- cookbook THE GLUTEN FREE WAY: MY WAY ... not to mention my Vlad Draqual vampire series whose candle is complete with stake AND coffin ... my gilded "chocolate" candle depicting all of the decadency and over-indulgence of my book I, DEBAUCHEE ... that I actually have a gallery page devoted entirely to the Jfay candles presently in my personal collection...

http://www.myspace.com/maltesecandlegallery

When I decided to write my teen-angst candle-reader, vampire, witch, warlock, demon, dragon, shape-shifted, chimera, tree-spirit, metal-bender, shadow-people, FLICKER series of books for Savant Press (#1 BOOK OF ANSWERS, soon scheduled to hit your book stands), who else to go to, for a book whose story-line is packed full of candles, than to the Mistress of Candle-Making Jfay?! And damn, but she did us, and my book, proud!

http://www.myspace.com/flickerwarriors

I was so impressed by the work she did for/with me, as regards FLICKER, that I changed my original cover-graphic concept and gave her purple/blue FUSION candle pride of place, center-front-cover, by way of inviting each and every reader on in for a thoroughly "wick'd read" of teenage warriors, good and evil, battling it out for position of Supreme Grand Magician in the scab-lands of central Washington state.

It goes without saying, too, that for those of us who are "into" the occult, there's no more perfect way to assure your spells work well than to have your accompanying candles specifically made to match the incantations.

As regards to Jfay's recent foray into the field of perfumes for the body, including the new SPICE/BERRY FUSION signature scent for my FLICKER series, and the wondrous Nosferatu Illume (The Vampire Walks the Light of Day), conjured by her exclusively for my Vlad Draqual vampire series ... more on those in my blog tomorrow.

A SPARE MOMENT? WHAT IS IT? I FORGOT!

Firstly, just another quick reminder that if you want to be part of the Anniversary blog tour, being sponsored by 1RomanceEbooks.com, before it begins tomorrow, you better head on over there, if you haven't already, and officially register...

http://1romanceebooks.com/index.php?_a=viewDoc&docId=107

...and I'll see you, for sure, on the 16th when my blog (#4) is sandwiched into the tour between (#3) Teresa D'Amario (who adores books with Native American characters, legends, epic themes, rugged settings, and, of course, a love story; those the books she loves to write; hey, won't she love my FLICKER: #1 BOOK OF ANSWERS?!), and my personal and handsome buddy, (#5) Bryl Tyne (if you haven't read any of Bryl's books, you should do so -- now!).

Secondly, what a shock it was for me, the other day, actually to discover something I was beginning to think, there, for awhile, I had lost forever. Gone so long from my life, as a matter of fact, that when it made it reappearance on the scene, I really was at a loss, for a good long while, as to what in the hell it even was, and as to what in the hell I was supposed to do with it. I'm referring to a "spare moment".

Suddenly, there it as, just out of the blue. My AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE was released and on the book stands. My FLICKER: #1 BOOK OF ANSWERS was at the printers. My BACK OF THE BOAT GOURMET COOKING was at the printers. My MALTESE'S FIRST WORDS was at the editor. My WILLIAM MALTESE'S WINE TASTER'S DIARY: SPOKANE/PULLMAN WA WINE REGION was at the editor. My GRIT was at the editor. John U. Abrahamson had yet to forward me his weekly addition to his upcoming autobiography, with which I'm providing a helping hand.

What to do? I'd been busy for so damned long, up every morning, at the computer, trying to make some deadline, that to wake up, with nothing immediately on the agenda, was ... well ... more than a tad confusing ... and disconcerting ...

What to do? Or, what NOT to do? Certainly, I have projects that need starting. I've several series, both gay and straight, any of which can use an extra book stuck into their lineup, including my Vlad Draqual vampyre series that already has its own perfume Nosferatu Illume -- The Vampire Walks the Light of Day (from Jfay) on the market...

http://www.wickdreads.com/wickdpotions.htm

...(more about that in a later blog). I've an upcoming book with Laura Baumbach, all about sex and slaves in ancient Rome. I've just contracted to do a series of double-novel books for Wildside/Borgo, as well as a book for them on huckleberries, another on my many fishing exploits. But, for a brief, spare moment, there was nothing immediately pressing on my horizon. There was nothing that required me to get to that computer, sit down at it, and get my ass going in order to make sure that something was ready for some deadline already set and established and demanding my attention.

My cousin, Bonnie Clark, co-author of BACK OF THE BOAT GOURMET COOKING called and asked if I wanted to ride with her husband and her to Coeur D'Alane, Idaho. They were off to see her mother (my Aunt May) who was moving, with my other cousin, Sandy, into new "digs". I joined in, then returned with Bonnie and Bruce to their house in order to feast on a gourmet dinner that, for a change, I didn't have to critique for BACK OF THE BOAT GOURMET COOKING. I drank wine that, for a change, I didn't need to comment upon for WILLIAM MALTESE'S WINE TASTER'S DIARY: SPOKANE/PULLMAN WINE AREA.

All very strange in being so stress-free, so leisurely... Reminding me that there used to be more of those days in my life. Reminding me that I might want to see a return of more of them. Reminding me that I have friends in Italy, Germany, The Netherlands who have been wanting me to visit, again, for quite some time now. Reminding me that I've a cousin who's a "gentleman" farmer in Costa Rica, living on a one-time coffee plantation, big house, with enough land for diary cows, and who is, even now, building a rustic cabin on the riverbank specifically for evenings by the fire, drinks, and good conversation.

Am I getting antsy? Is that wanderlust I had for a good deal of my early life, which had me around the world (literally) more than once, again taking hold?

We'll see.

In the meantime, there are the sequeals to be written to my Vlad Draqual Series, my Seven-Continent Series, my Wine-Taster's Series, my Cooking Series, my New World Shaman Series, my Stud Draqual Series, my One-Hand-Read Series... And there's, now, my contracted series of Double-Novel books...

Spare moment? What in the hell is that?

A SONY READER COULD BE YOURS!

1RomanceBooks.com is One Year Old!

They want you to celebrate their good fortune with them.

They've lined up some of the hottest bloggers (including me) for a Blog Tour, and there are dozens of fantastic prizes being offered just for you to show up and comment on our blogs!

One LUCKY reader will win the grand prize:
a Sony Reader Touch Edition!

So, how does it work?

1RomanceEbooks's blog tour will include up to two stops per day. In order to participate, you will need to register (see below), at which time you'll be given a participant number. At each stop, you have the opportunity to leave a comment (be sure to include your participant number) to win a prize and be entered in the drawing for the grand prize. Each comment you leave earns a point (one comment per blog) - the more points you earn, the more chances you have to win. You earn even more points by:

Signing up for 1RomanceEbooks newsletter

Friend 1RE on FaceBook

Following 1RE on Twitter

Friending 1RE on MySpace

Joining the 1RE NING

Each blog will be offering great prizes along the way. All you have to do is visit and post a comment that includes your participant number.

You Must Register to Play:

See the Blog Tour Page for all the details. The Official Rules at--

http://1romanceebooks.com/index.php?_a=viewDoc&docId=107

The fun begins Thrusday, July 15.

CHIT-CHATS .... WHAT'S THAT?

I spent some time yesterday in a chat group, hosted by my publisher, Laura Baumbach, over at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/, by way of helping to launch the appearance on the publishing scene of Laura's new Passion in Print (PIPP) imprint, and my (actually, Willa Lambert's) AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE, first in my (Willa's) Seven-Continent series, which had the privilege of being one of the first three books published by PIPP. Willa hasn't done a major launch like this one, since her LOVE'S EMERALD FLAME rocketed to world-wide best-seller lists (fourteen foreign-language editions) as book #2 in the then-new Harlequin SuperRomance imprint.

For those of you unfamiliar with chats and chit-chats and the chat-rooms in which they occur, and the people usually involved in all the chatting, they're all merely part and parcel of internet "social gatherings" that are supposed to link like-minded people, for a predetermined amount of time, in order to involve them in Cyberspace chatter about something -- in yesterday's case in point, books and publishing -- they find of mutual interest. It's supposed to be a way for authors to connect with readers, and vice-versa; the theory being that books are more apt to be sold, not to mention be enjoyed, if there's some kind of a personal interconnect (if just on-line) between the person writing the book and the person or persons reading it. As a result of my attendance, yesterday, I posted excerpts from not only Willa's AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE, but from my MLR books I, DEBAUCHEE, and the anthologies RED and MELTING THE SLOPES (Laura, likewise, the MLR Press publisher of those).

I've included the qualifier "supposed" in certain sentences above, because, though I belong to more than my share of chat groups, usually associated with books, I'm not convinced that these groups actually "do" what they're ballyhooed to "do". Do they, I always wonder, really put me in contact with the regular guy and gal, on the street, out there -- who isn't a writer, isn't an editor, isn't a publisher -- merely a reader of books. Or, are they really just very "in" mutual-admiration societies, mainly those of us "in the business", who merely congregate to give ourselves and our peers congratulatory pats on the backs and, "Hey, haven't seen or heard from you in a long time!"?

I think I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have actually come in contact, on any and all of these groups, with people who just read and aren't, somehow, associated with the business. Usually, or so it seems to me, it's just the same people -- fellow authors, publishers, editors -- over and over, no matter which group I'm checked into at the time. There's a lot of first-time authors, who seem to be there merely for pats on the back and approval, both of which are usually delivered in abundance -- ego-boosting, to be sure, but is everyone there to network, and mingle with readers, or merely to conduct mundane chit-chat like: "Hi, I'm Jill and God is it cold here in Kansas." "Hi, Jill, just watch out for tornadoes." "Hey, Jill, tell Toto to watch out for them, too." "Well, it's hotter than hell, here in Texas." "Hey, Karen, I hear your husband just ran away with your best friend."

Okay, writers, editors, publishers, are readers, too, to be sure. Maybe even, they do buy and enjoy the books of their peers. Maybe, they even buy my books. But, frankly, I'm more interested in getting out of that box and more into contact with those who are out there reading for enjoyment and not because they have hopes of someday soon publishing a book of their own, or have just had one published.

What I'm always being told, of course, is that the ordinary reader "is" on these groups but is what's commonly referred to as a "stalker" -- merely someone "there" who doesn't actively participate, merely follows posts from a distance; then, maybe, later, goes out and buys one of the books being promoted by some author during the session. And, maybe that is the case. I don't know. I can't be sure, except I find it hard to believe a few of them wouldn't have the gumption or incentive, eventually, to speak up and say something, if just hello, when one of their favorite authors appear on the scene. Then, again, I've been known to enter a genuinely active chat room, and suddenly find everyone go silent. Something I said? Something I didn't say? My internet bad breath?

Will I keep participating in chats, without knowing if they do what they're supposed to do, without being able to really measure if there's any return from my investment of time and energy (was that spike in sales for my I, DEBAUCHEE due to my participation in yesterday's chat, or just because someone decided, just out of the blue, that he or she wanted to read it?). Probably, I will continue, if just because my publisher Laura Baumbach, for one, who IS in a position to better measure return on investment, tells me that after these chats there is usually an increase in sales, and an increase in hits on the publisher's home web-sites. So, until she says differently, I'll likely be there, at one chat or another, for some time to come. Do stop by and say hello. I don't bite (unless, of course, I'm in my Vlad Draqual, vampyre, persona).

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 -- LAUNCH

Today is the day Laura Baumbach (the always-on-the-go Alpha female, famous for having turned ManLoveRomance Press (MLR) into such a powerhouse of m/m publishing), launches her new m/f Passions in Print Press (PIPP) imprint, with me, back in my romance persona of Willa Lambert, having the major pleasure of being part of that initial three-book launch (just like I was part of the Harlequin SuperRomance imprint launch, back in September 1980, with my LOVE'S EMERALD FLAME by Willa Lambert; if my PIPP book proves even partially successful as that SuperRomance launch-book, which went best-seller in over fourteen foreign-language editions, you'll be able to color me extremely happy, indeed).

While my AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE, first of my contracted Seven-Continent series for the PIPP imprint is presently only available in e-Book format --

http://www.passioninprint.com/ShowBook.php?CR=WMSPICEISLAND

--don't be discourage if, like I am, you're not content until you have an actual physical copy of any book in hand, because the print version of this one will be made available to your, through all of the usual retail outlets (amazon.com, bn.com), via all the major distributors, within the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you're "into" m/f romances, and into m/f e-Books, as so many of you are, feel free to stop on by and buy a copy of my AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE to provide me with some royalties to keep me paying those enormous, and getting more enormous, heating bills that will soon arrive, once again, with the coming of winter.

For those of you unfamiliar with my Willa Lambert persona, let me acquaint you with its track record in m/f romance fiction genre, prefacing by saying that, under various other pseudonyms, I wrote some pretty hot-and-heavy m/f erotica, quite awhile back. It being the combination of that initial erotica, and my three mainstream romances for Carousel (LOVE'S COURAGE, HOUSE OF THE BRAVE BULLS, VANESSA IN WHITE MARBLE), written under my Anna Lambert bi-line, that brought me to the attention of George Glay, Senior Editor at Harlequin at the time, who was out to launch Harlequin's then-new SuperRomance imprint ... requiring all of its initial authors to have a history in published romances. In my particular case, George was, also, extremely interested in my expertise with erotica, in that the new Harlequin imprint was going to be marketed as "hotter" and "steamier", with "more complex plots" and "inclusion, even, of multi-subplots", in contrast to the milk-toast product Harlequin had been publishing up until that time.

Holed up for two weeks in a hotel room adjacent to the Harlequin headquarters in Toronto, I provided George and the publisher with the all-important SuperRomance #2 LOVE'S EMERALD FLAME, by -- tah-dah -- Willa Lambert (Harlequin books, after all, being advertised as "books for women by women"). Followed by my SuperRomance #23 FROM THIS BELOVED HOUR, and SuperRomance #59 LOVE'S GOLDEN SPELL.

Since then, I've published four romance genre: EMERALD-SILK INTRIGUE, JUNGLE-QUEST INTRIGUE, MOON-STONE INTRIGUE, HEART ON FIRE.

Most recently, as a kind of experiment, in which my AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE for PIPP plays a major role, I, also, published my DARE TO LOVE IN OZ, m/f adventure/romance, with Savant books, under William Maltese. While, for a long while, I had all of my books, no matter what the genre, issued under my own name, I've recently gone back to the belief that women readers still adhere to that old Harlequin mantra that books "about women" need be "written by women". I may be wrong in that assumption, but, whatever, I figure I'll now have actual sales figures to see if I am wrong -- or right.

For those of you m/f women readers who would like to prove me wrong in my cynicism that's back to thinking you're not willing to give a guy a chance in m/f chick fiction, you can pick up a copy of my William Maltese DARE TO LOVE IN OZ -- alas, presently only available in print format, at the moment, at --

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984117547

BYE-BYE BISEXUAL -- REDUX

At the time I enlisted in the U.S. Army, served for three years and was honorably discharged at the end of that time-line, there was the mind-set, existent among all military top brass (Army, Navy, Air Force, whoot! whoot! Marines), that a male was either heterosexual, and did "it" with women; thereby, being suitable soldier "material" ... or he was homosexual, and did "it" with men; thereby, definitely NOT suitable soldier "material". Strangely, there was no conception of even the possibility of a "middle-ground" man -- a bisexual who did "it" with men and with women. Such a "hybrid" seems to have been entirely out of the realm of reasonable comprehension. Therefore, while homosexuals in the service, even back then (especially back then?), were drummed out when and if discovered, many a bisexual in the service was overlooked because of circumstance that occasionally had him bedding some female. A night on the town, with fellow GI's, at some local whorehouse, provided the "bearding" of many bisexuals that allowed them successfully to maneuver the gauntlets of total terms of service without harassment; that very same thing happening to this very day.

When I first began writing erotica, straight and gay, I, from personal experience, had no reticence, at all, in providing the characters in my books with the whole gamut of their potential "sexual" attributes -- gay, straight, bisexual, and lesbian. And, for awhile, I even got away with it, until I began getting in-house memos that asked me to -- "feel free to write about sex between men and men, between women and women, between women and men, but, please, REFRAIN, William, from writing anything so fanciful as sex between men who go from sex with men to sex with women and back again."


All of which had me write my initial "Bye-Bye Bisexual" article -- for the 5 October 1970 issue of Screw magazine, wherein I conjectured as to whether publishers, like their military big-wig counterparts, actually didn't believe bisexuality existed, or whether it was merely a case of their belief that there weren't enough bisexual readers to constitute a viable market for books written about and for them. The very fact that bisexuality was so often referred to by my publishers and editors as "fanciful conjecture" led me to conclude, then, and to conclude, now, it was just their unabashed disbelief in any such animal.


Alas, poor bisexuals, even today, seem to get the short-shrift, more often than not totally overlooked, at each and every turn!

My detective series of STUD DRAQUAL MYSTERY novels (A SLIP TO DIE FOR and THAI DIED), continues to cause all sorts of foaming-at-the-mouth brouhaha from gay men who are genuinely upset that my main protagonist, who they immediately labeled "a closeted homosexual", actually not only goes to bed with women but may actually enjoy doing so, while he remains conflicted as regards whether or not he should ever succumb to any of the frequent sexual propositions he receives from men. I'm not sure I've heard even one bit of speculation that Stud might be a bisexual and not just another closeted gay, and that he might just end up, when and if he finally does succumb to homosexual temptation, coming (no pun intended) to enjoy "swinging both ways". Rather, it seems always to be the predominant way of thinking that I, as author, am simply hopelessly out of date when I don't allow my "homosexual" to come on out of his closet and freely express himself as the "gay" man he so obviously is. As if some men and women today don't still actually have some conflicts as to where their particular sexualities fit within the big picture, everyone blessedly able, in this day and age, to openly define himself and/or herself as proudly gay, or proudly straight -- (but not proudly bisexual?). For some reason, Stud Draqual has only convinced me that there is still the misconception "out there", among gays and straights alike, that a man is either gay, or straight, never allowed any viable existence within the middle ground. I know, though -- believe me, and take this as The Gospel According to William -- that misconception is just that -- misconception.

So, I shall merely continue, as I have from the get-go, to do my little bit, whenever I can to provide bisexuality more than just lip-service, with the help of at least three publishers more enlightened and savvy than those I've encountered in the past -- namely, Laura Baumbach's MLR Press ... Wildside/Borgo Press ... and Green Candy Press. Yes, my Stud Draqual mystery series may, and possibly one day soon, have Stud succumb to homosexuality, enjoy it, BUT still enjoy sex with women. Yes, bisexuality will remain in my A CONSPIRACY OF RAVENS: A ONE-HAND READ ... Tad Rich still ending up shipped off to live with relatives in England because he got a girl pregnant back in the States ... when that book gets re-issued by MLR Press any day now. There will be more gay novels, like my RIDE THE MAN DOWN, where a character actually marries a woman but continues to have sex with men. I shall continue to insert bisexuality into my predominantly he-men adventure tales, like THE GOMORRAH CONJURATION where Chad Nordell is known for "having a reputation of swinging both ways." Likewise, look for it in more of my mainstream mysteries for Wildside/Borgo, like my THE FAG IS NOT FOR BURNING, with its key character so "into" men and women that his being so completely throws off the investigation conducted by that book's sexually confused police detective.

In the interim, see you in the bedroom -- guys -- gals -- gays and gals!

DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF!

People! Please!

Just because you're rich as Midas, own an island in the Mediterranean, where I visited, for a weekend, one summer, with mutual friends, DON'T mistake yourself for the rich-as-Midas Mediterranean island-owner who I wrote up in I, DEBAUCHEE as having hosted that Bacchanalian orgy. Does your island even have a "Green Grotto"? No! Does your villa even have a fountain that contains "an exceptional grouping that includes Adonis dropped to one knee, his lance stabbed into the flank of a very large rearing boar that has, likewise, fatally gored the young hunter in the vulnerable femoral artery? Not that I ever saw! Were there any studly young men running around stark naked and performing all sorts of lewd sexual acts in the hot sunshine and cool shadows? Don't I wish!

I wrote that scene in I, DEBAUCHEE, purely because I was out to mirror, in the Twenty-first Century, what once went on, way back when, on the isle of Capri, when thoroughly debauched Roman Emperors, like Tiberius, and Nero, amused themselves with prurient fun and games.

Just because you're Oriental, and a male prostitute, and I once met you in New York City, doesn't mean that you're "the" Lee Chou, Oriental male prostitute, in my DIARY OF A HUSTLER, performing with my chief protagonist, Joey, before a West Coast audience of dirty old men.

Just because you're the handsome cowboy, with a damned fine pair of very worn hand-crafted cowboy boots, I once ran across in a Montana bar, don't think that you're Robb Pitt of my short story "Cowboy Boots" in my short-story collection CALIFORNIA CREAMIN', who gets off on sniffing the footwear of his bunk mate, Jim Templeton, every time the latter takes a shower.

If I spent a good deal of time, at one time, mingling with Seattle, Washington's art community, and, therefore, found that locale and subject matter suitable for a murder mystery ... had made the acquaintance of a school teacher in the Bellingham School District ... ran around with an old Army buddy who lived in Burien ... knew a closeted Seattle policeman ... still doesn't mean that my novel THE FAG IS NOT FOR BURNING is a Roman a clef whose characters -- that include a school teacher accused of pederasty ... an Army veteran involved in smuggling drugs into the country via dead-GI coffins ... a closeted Seattle policeman suddenly falling in love with B&D AND with another man -- are based on real people. Why anyone would think that I wrote a story about a good friend of mine, an art gallery owner, who died of natural causes, being murdered, skewered on a spear, and set horribly on fire, I haven't a clue. Why any Seattle art gallery owner would ever think I was writing about him when I wrote about an art dealer who not only slept his way to the top of the Seattle art scene, but, in the process had sex with a priest in order to sell paintings to a monastery, AND beat his wife in the bargain ... if he didn't sleep his way to the top, didn't have sex with a priest to sell paintings, and was a model husband ... has me shaking my head in amazement and wondering, "What in the hell ARE you people thinking?"

In fact, the odds of you ever appearing in any of my novels, however thinly disguised, are very highly stacked against you. You may find your eyes mentioned, if I find them particularly attractive, but they'll be complimented by someone else's nose, mouth, ears, chin, cheeks, dimples, and jaw line. You may have me describe the way your body hair attractively runs from your pubic area, up your belly, around your navel, through your pectoral cleavage, to fan across the top of your muscled chest, but if you have brown hair, the hair I describe will likely be blond; if you're pale, the body I describe will likely be tanned; if you're short, the man in my novel will likely be tall. If anything, I, and authors like me, go out of our ways to avoid portraying real people.

If I have mentioned some of my favorite "things" by name, like Xocai healthy chocolate, that's not because I'm being paid by the company to do so, but it's because I'm a health nut, and I eat or use the products myself, and I can't say enough good things about them to encourage other people to live healthy, as well.

Certainly, you need never fear that you'll pick up one of my books, one day, and find a conversation you and I ever had. Unless, of course, you say something genuinely clever and/or witty (surprisingly, few people say things, these days, genuinely clever and/or witty), in which case, I'll tell you that I may just "borrow that for a book and not give you credit when I do".

If I have mentioned, by name, the candle artist Jfay in several of my books, that's because she's a good friend, an associate, a partner in mutual promotion projects, and, whenever there's a candle involved in any of my plot lines, I figure I might as well give her a plug by having any such candle "made" by her. I mentioned both Jfay and artist Rick Chris in my SUCKS! FIRST OF THE DRAQUAL VAMPYRE CHRONICES, the latter having just painted me "as" the vampyre Vlad Draqual (one of my favorite portraits in my collection). I've mentioned sand-blasting artist Kerry Dikken, because he's been involved in sandblasting custom-jeans, and the vodka bottles, and the tequila bottles, for Draqual merchandising tie-ins. In each of these cases, however, I've asked permission beforehand and required the person to sign a release form. So, if I've not asked you beforehand, and I've not asked you to sign a release form, assume that anyone you think is you in one of my books really ISN'T you, at all, but is just as much a figment of your imagination as of mine.

No author, including this one, is going to risk being sued for libel.

ONLY REALLY EXTRAORDINARY TRIVIA BUFFS NEED APPLY/BUY!

Okay, my CATALYTIC QUOTES (Some Heard Through a Time Warp): One Music-History-Literary-and-Trivia-buff's Pure Conjecture on the Seemingly Sometimes Idiosyncratic Transmigration of the Creative Muse, just may be aimed at an audience so exclusive, not to mention, so small, that the book is never destined to soar to the top of any best seller list. I have to just thank my publisher, Wildside/Borgo for having had the gumption to publish this for the small audience that does have insight; the rest of the world, even those who "think" they're into trivia, not having a clue as to what any of it is really all about.

This blog, then, is merely my official thank-you for those few of you who have been clever enough to find this little tome amusing. Also, it's an invitation to any of you, out there, who really think yourselves truly "into" trivia, or into the unlocking of puzzles, who might find it worth your time and, yes, amusement to give figuring out some of this book a college try.

The first clue, of course, as to what this book is really all about, obvious, possibly, to only the very clever -- the world so bereft of clever people these days -- is in its title --:

CATALYTIC: Causing significant reaction.
QUOTES: Written for another with credit acknowledgments.
(SOME: A certain amount.
HEARD: Perceived.
THROUGH: Movement into at one side of and out of another.
A TIME WARP): An anomaly or discontinuity held to occur in time progression.

Get it? Probably not?

How about the first puzzle-joke within the very first quote of the book, then:

HANK AARON to WILLIAM GOLDING:
"Yep. Me. The Lord of the Flies."

Get it, now? Probably not.

And if not, do I really want to go through the bother of providing you with the clue, if you're not smart enough to figure it out yourself? Well, maybe I do, in that sometimes even the cleverest of detectives needs some catalyst to get him or her started along the right pathway.

So, the question always to ask of every quote in this book is: "If two people, although separated in real life by time and space, were ever to have met up, and one, in this case Hank Aaron, had said something, indicative of himself, to the other, William Golding, in this case -- "Yep. Me. The Lord of Flies." --what might the other person have taken from that conversation to have ended up creating something with which he's since become well-known (at least to trivia buffs, like me)?

Hank Aaron, having hit 755 home runs in his career, has definitely been known as the Sports World's "Lord of Flies". Having announced that fact to William Golding, author, though, what might William have been inspired to do in result? Answer: Write his infamous novel, LORD OF FLIES, of course; so, what that it has nothing whatsoever to do with baseball?!

Okay, so you're a trivia buff extraordinaire, just not in the field of sports. How about music?

CHUBBY CHECKER to CHARLES DICKENS:
"I always figured Oliver Wendell Holmes a bit straitlaced. Until the night of the party when everyone started chanting, 'Twist, Oliver, twist!' And, he got up and really showed us how it was done."

Chubby Checker is famous for starting the "Twist" dance craze. Charles Dickens is famous for, among other things -- tah-dah! -- his novel OLIVER TWIST, of course.

Literature and/or food, anyone?:

DOCTOR JEKYLL to WOLFGANG PUCK:
"I'll be eating alone. So a table for two, please."

The insider joke, here, is that Wolfgang Puck, cook, often gets requests in his restaurants for tables of one, two, three, or parties of however many. Doctor Jekyll, ordering a table for two just why? Because, in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson, THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR HYDE, Dr. Jekyll, prime protagonist, possesses dual personalities that include Mr. Hyde. So, Dr. Jekyll, even when dining alone, might figure he needs an extra seat for his second persona.

Literature and history, maybe?:

HANNIBAL LECTER to NAPOLEON BONAPARTE:
"You look good enough to eat."

Almost everyone knows that Hannibal Lecter is the infamous cannibal made famous in films by Anthony Hopkins, and created in books, including SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, by Thomas Harris. As for Napoleon ... well an emperor and great miliary general, to be sure, BUT, also, yes, a puff pastry. See the macabre humor, now, in Hannibal Lecter interested in "eating" Napoleon on not just one but two counts?

If you get it, if you're amused, congratulations, in that you can consider yourself among the trivia-expert elite who have the wherewithal to figure ot what these are all about... something achievable by only a very few.

If you don't get it, or do "think" you get it, but aren't in the least entertained or amused ... if this is all just too mind-boggling for you ... how about, instead, I recommend you pick up a copy of my DOG ON A SURFBOARD AND THE REST OF THE ADVENTURE and give that a try?

MALTESE FIRST WORDS ... NOVEL, AND OTHERWISE

I remember the first time it was pointed out to me that my name was listed in the Index of an historical reference book. I thought: "Oh, William, you ARE getting old!"

That was back in 1994 when St. Martin's Press published LONG ROAD TO FREEDOM, "The Advocate History of the Gay and Lesbian Movement", a retrospective of some of The Advocate newspaper's most representative pieces from its first 25 years (1967-1992). My not very politically correct, "It's Hell Being Gay and Handicapped", written by me about a handicapped Vietnam vet I'd met in a Seattle gay bar, was included as indicative of 1971.

Partly because my gay writing was merely a part of my total published output from that time, I really hadn't yet accepted the fact that I was actually an icon of gay literature from the days when -- without my having had clue at the time -- gay fiction (and non-fiction) made its explosive en-masse major appearance on the publishing scene in formats other than the usually-before-then no queer is a happy queer and all of them have to die at books' ends.

What with my name having since appeared in several more reference books, including Professor Drewey Wayne Gunn's THE GAY MALE SLEUTH IN PRINT AND FILM: A HISTORY AND ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY and his THE GOLDEN AGE OF GAY FICTION, I might have become inclined to consider myself entirely a "gay" writer if it hadn't been, along the way, for reminders, otherwise, like my inclusion in WHO'S WHO IN AMERICA and WHO'S WHO IN ENTERTAINMENT whose listings encompassed more of my whole body of work.

Now, comes along another "something" to make me think: "Oh, William, you are DEFINITELY really getting old," by way of Wildside/Borgo Press's intended release of a comprehensive and chronological listing of my total book-title output, gay and straight, from 1969 to 2009, including the first three paragraphs from all 171 of those published works -- in its WILLIAM MALTESE'S FAMOUS FIRST WORDS. I'm finding it incredibly hard to imagine that I've been around for so long, and written so much, that not only have I and what I've written become a reference book, in and of ourselves, but that I've actually managed to write enough, over my career, to make it happen.

A LOT GOING ON

I've really been busy, lately. Maybe too busy, with little time to just sit back and relax. That, though, I guess, is what happens when you're suddenly in demand, so I suppose it should be taking full advantage of my "feasting", while it lasts, because authors sometimes have long dry spells between spurts of activity, and I'm no exception; although, I have to admit (knock on wood), it's been a while since I haven't had some project or other to work on.

At the moment:

(1) My BACK OF THE BOAT GOURMET COOKING (being written with my co-author and cousin, Bonnie Clark) is at the printers, Wildside/Borgo, and awaiting printing. Everything pretty much done on it, except seeing it hit the book stands, sometimes, hopefully soon.

(2) AFRICA: SPICE ISLAND LOVE, first of my Seven-Continent Series of m/f romances for the new Passion in Print Press imprint is scheduled for release this month, and I really love the cover done by Deana Jamroz for it.

(3) My teen-angst candle-reader, vampire, witch, warlock, demon, dragon, werewolf, shape-shifter, chimera, shadow people, tree spirit first book of my FLICKER series: #1 BOOK OF ANSWERS, is at the stage where a proof copy of the final book is about to come off the presses; after a final proofing of that, it, too, will hit the book stands. Another great cover, here, this one by artist John U. Abrahamson, based upon a candle done by candle-maker extraordinaire Jfay.

(4) My novel GRIT (co-authored by Jardonn Smith) is in the editing phases with MLR Press, presently scheduled for an August release.

(5) I have one more wine tasting room to visit before I wrap the first of my WILLIAM MALTESE WINE TASTER'S DIARY series of books -- WILLIAM MALTESE'S WINE TASTER'S DIARY: SPOKANE/PULLMAN WA WINE REGION.

(6) I'm giving artist John U. Abrahamson a hand in the writing of his (auto)biography AN ABOMINABLE FANCY. What a life that guy has lived.

(7) I'm packaging a graphic novel, being done by stellar artist Mike Bliss, GOD-MAKER: VAMPIRES OF LONDON which is presently scheduled for completion in August.

(8) MLR Press is re-issuing the print and ebook version of my m/m circuSex, as well as the print re-issues of my SS MANN HUNT and CONSPIRACY OF RAVENS.

(9) FeatherWeight Press is re-issuing the print and ebook versions of my children novel DOG ON THE SURFBOARD AND THE REST OF THE ADVENTURE.